Level Up Saho …a day in the life. Or maybe "How To Get Better At Life"? ♦ Music ♦ Weight Loss/Fitness/Diet ♦ Non-Farm ♦ Mental Health ♦ Pop-Culture ♦ And Whatever Else I Want! ♦
Remember when I talked about surviving Firehouse Fatales in high heels? Yeah. Well. Turns out the story didn’t end when I took my shoes off.
I went to take off my toenail polish so I could redo it (because cute feet are forever, bruises be damned), and surprise: both of my big toenails were bruised. On one of them, the top layer of the nail peeled off completely with the polish.
I’ve lost these toenails before, so I know what that feels like. This isn’t that. Not yet, anyway. This is more like a horror short film called “Beauty Queen Feet: The Sequel You Didn’t Ask For.”
What actually happened?
It was the perfect storm.
High heels and a long day on my feet meant nonstop pressure. My feet slid forward in my shoes all day, pressing my big toes into the front of the toe box. That constant impact bruised the nail beds underneath.
Add to that the fact that I skate regularly. Between derby drills, edge work, and toe-stop starts, my feet take a beating even without the heels. Roller derby puts a ton of stress on the forefoot, and when you combine that with already-compromised nails, they don’t exactly stand a chance.
And I’ll be honest. I almost never let my toenails breathe. I always have polish on. So they were already dry, probably brittle, and definitely not ready for a 100-degree concrete catwalk moment.
The trauma pushed them over the edge, and when I went to remove the polish, the top layer of the nail peeled right off like it had been waiting for its final act.
Why this happens
This kind of injury is called a subungual hematoma, which is a bruise under the nail caused by pressure or repeated impact. When you cram your toes into tight shoes or take hard hits at the front of your foot (hello, skating and high heels), tiny blood vessels under the nail can rupture, causing a deep bruise. If the nail is already weakened from polish, trauma, or dehydration, it’s even more likely to lift, peel, or flake.
What I’m doing now
No polish for a bit. I’m giving my toes a chance to recover before I dress them back up.
I’m using a clear keratin nail repair treatment to reinforce the nail plate and protect new growth.
Epsom salt soaks and nail oil are officially part of my daily routine.
I’ve got open-toed shoes on deck for the foreseeable future and zero shame about it.
What might help next time
Rotate out of polish once in a while to let your nails breathe.
Trim your toenails short and smooth before any long day in heels or on skates.
Use anti-friction balm or even a small strip of moleskin on your big toes to reduce rubbing.
Look for heel grips or gel inserts that keep your foot from sliding forward in your shoes.
And if you’re skating on top of everything else, ice and magnesium are your friends.
Lessons from the battlefield
If you’re going full glam in vintage heels all day and also asking your feet to skate, sprint, squat, and recover, give them some credit. And give them a break. Especially if you, like me, have a long history of sacrificing your nail beds in the name of pinup glory.
Pain is temporary. Pretty feet are a full-time job.
Why I Stopped Holding Myself Back and Stepped Into Pinup
For as long as I can remember, I’ve loved the world of pinup and rockabilly. The bold styles, the effortless confidence, the timeless silhouettes. I was drawn to it in a way that felt almost instinctual, like I had known in another life that I belonged there.
But I never let myself truly step into it.
I spent years believing I wasn’t enough. Not pretty enough. Not thin enough. Not the right type of person for it. Somewhere along the way, I absorbed the idea that pinup was for a certain kind of woman, and I wasn’t it.
I don’t know exactly where that belief came from. Maybe it was growing up in a world that constantly tells women they need to fit a mold. Maybe it was the echoes of people making fun of me when I was younger for dressing in the style. Maybe it was an ex-boyfriend, years ago, who went out of his way to make me feel less than; an insecurity that lingered far longer than he ever did.
But here’s what I do know: I was wrong.
Every woman is worthy. Every woman has value. And the only thing that had ever kept me from stepping into this world was me.
I turned 40 last December and realized that my life was not what I wanted. It was also not what 15-year-old me had dreamed of. That was a gut punch, but it was also a turning point. I decided that if I wanted something different, I had to stop waiting and go after it.
So I did. And the moment I took that first step, the doors flew open.
How It All Started: Saying Yes to Miss Oil City
The first opportunity came unexpectedly.
Boston Betty, who competes in pinup and works as a photographer, reached out to invite my roller derby team to compete in Miss Oil City, a pinup pageant happening on May 24th in Casper, Wyoming. She was waiving the entry fee for the skaters, giving us a chance to step into something completely new.
I freaked out.
For two hours, I spiraled, going back and forth between I want to do this so badly and I can’t, I’ll make a fool of myself. But then a teammate said six words that changed everything:
“Why don’t you just go for it?”
So I did.
That one choice, the decision to say yes, set off a chain reaction.
From Casper to Arizona: The RockNRoute Rendezvous
After I signed up for Miss Oil City, the universe decided to test just how serious I was about stepping into this new world.
Through the pageant, I was introduced to an incredible woman named Jezebel Jinx, who runs a huge pinup community in Williams, Arizona. She told me she was doing a speed round of applications for RockNRoute Rendezvous, a major pinup competition happening September 13–14, but applications closed the next day.
My stomach dropped.
I wanted to apply. I really wanted to apply. But fear crept in again.
Thankfully, my mom, the absolute rock that she is, pushed me to go for it. And so, I did. Less than 24 hours later, I found out I had been accepted.
In two months, I had gone from doubting whether I even belonged in pinup to competing in two pageants, one of them at a national level.
This wasn’t just something I admired anymore. I was in it.
Finding My Place in the Pinup Community
I expected to feel out of place.
I thought I’d be the odd one out, the woman fumbling through her first steps in a world full of polished professionals. But what I found instead was one of the most supportive, empowering groups of women I’ve ever met.
These aren’t just pretty faces posing for photos. These are real women with real lives, real struggles, and real stories. And yet, no matter what they have going on, they show up for each other. They cheer each other on, hype each other up, and make sure no one feels like they don’t belong.
For so long, I had believed that stepping into this world required perfection. It doesn’t. It requires confidence, authenticity, and the courage to take up space.
Yesterday, for the first time, I felt it click.
As the women around me told me I was beautiful, that they were proud of me for taking a chance on myself, something shifted. I wasn’t an outsider looking in.
I belonged here.
Meet Sophie Atomic
With all of this happening, I knew I needed a name that fit the energy of this transformation.
I love all things Cold War era. The Atomic Age, the mid-century aesthetic, the firecracker energy of it all. It felt right. Sophie is cute, pinup-esque, and keeps the “S” theme that still feels like me.
And so, Sophie Atomic was born.
Sophie Atomic isn’t a character. She’s me without the fear. She’s me at full confidence, at full volume.
The Next Chapter: Miss Oil City, RockNRoute, and My First Magazine Feature
Right now, I’m in full prep mode. I’ve spent hours scrolling Pinterest for outfit ideas, practicing hair and makeup, working on my walk, my poses, my presence.
At first, I thought I had to play it safe. Lean into classic or kitschy pinup because that’s what felt “acceptable.” But the more I grow into this, the more I realize that playing it safe isn’t me.
I’m not just pinup. I’m rockabilly. I’m psychobilly. I’m a little louder, a little edgier, a little rougher around the edges. And that’s exactly the kind of energy I’m bringing to these competitions.
Beyond the pageants, I’m also planning my first magazine feature in Rods N’ Rebels. Jezebel Jinx, who runs the magazine, has welcomed me into her La’Rouge Rebelz troupe and invited me to submit photos whenever I’m ready. She told me she has every faith I’ll fit right in.
That moment, standing there realizing a pinup magazine will be publishing my photos, was surreal.
If You’re Waiting for the Right Time, Stop Waiting
If I’ve learned anything through this journey, it’s this: you don’t need permission to chase the life you want.
I used to think I wasn’t enough. But the truth is, it doesn’t matter what size you are, what you look like, or how much experience you have. You are worthy. You have value.
And if there’s something calling to you, something you’ve always wanted to do but fear has held you back, this is your sign to go for it.
I spent years standing on the sidelines. That ends now.
Follow My Journey + Get Inspired
I’ll be sharing every step of this experience, from competitions to behind-the-scenes looks at my transformation, on: 📌 Pinterest – My pinup inspiration board 📷 Instagram: @LevelUpSaho – Outfits, pageant prep, and photoshoots 📺 YouTube: LevelUpSaho – Vlogs and behind-the-scenes content 📝 Right here on this blog – Deep dives into my journey
Diet Coke and Hair-Spray 