Tag: dreams

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The Turning of the Page

Life at 40

Today is my 40th birthday, and I’ve spent some time reflecting.

Birthdays have always felt like natural moments to pause, take stock, and think about where life has taken me. Turning 40 feels big, not because I’m scared of it, but because it’s an invitation to look back on everything that’s brought me here and dream about where I’m going next.

When I was 18, life felt wide open, like a blank notebook waiting to be filled. I thought I knew where I was headed: a career, a family, stability, and maybe even a little fame. I dreamed big. Becoming a rock star, crafting guitars, or exploring ancient Egypt as an archaeologist. I thought I’d have it all figured out by now.

Turns out life doesn’t follow a script.

Mourning the Dreams That Changed

It’s hard not to look back and think about the “what-ifs.” At 18, I had this vision of who I would be and what my life would look like. I thought I’d be financially stable, with a family and a career that made me proud. Instead, I moved 1,000 miles away from everything I knew to ultimately live with a man. That decision had a bigger impact on me and my approach to life than I ever could have imagined at the time. I left school and those passions behind.

I entered the workforce right away, and somewhere along the way, I stopped dreaming altogether. Survival replaced ambition. Work replaced wonder. It took years to move back home and even longer to rediscover myself as someone with passions and goals beyond just getting through the day.

Looking back, I’ve realized it’s okay to mourn those dreams that didn’t come to life. Mourning doesn’t mean regret. It just means acknowledging the path I thought I’d walk and honoring the person I thought I’d be.

Learning to Bloom in My Own Time

If there’s one thing I’ve learned about myself, it’s that I take my time. I’m not someone who rushes into anything, whether it’s finding my passion, reconnecting with old friends, or making big life changes.

For a long time, I thought that made me slow, maybe even lazy. Now I see it for what it is: my rhythm. It may take me longer to bloom, but the results are uniquely mine.

Over the years, I’ve built a life full of diversity and richness. From roller derby and blogging to baking cakes and starting my own ventures, I’ve created a life that’s vibrant and uniquely me. I’ve maintained a 35-year friendship with my best friend, who I’ve reconnected with more deeply in the past year.

No, it’s not the life I envisioned at 18. But it’s one I’ve worked hard for, and I’m proud of it.

Dreaming Ahead

Forty doesn’t feel like an ending. It feels like a new beginning. For the first time in years, I’m letting myself dream again. Not just about what could have been, but about what can still be.

Right now, I’m focused on my health. I’m working hard to lose weight, not just for how I look but for how I feel. I’m building my ventures into something I can be proud of, chasing financial stability, and carving out a future that feels more intentional.

There’s something freeing about letting go of the pressure to have it all figured out by a certain age. I’ve realized there’s no finish line for success. Just a series of chapters, each one building on the last.

A Message for You

If you’re reading this and feeling like life didn’t turn out the way you thought it would, I want to remind you: that’s okay. Plans change. People change. And it’s never too late to rewrite your story.

Here are a few things that have helped me make peace with where I am:

  • Stop comparing your timeline to others. There’s no “right” time to achieve your dreams. You’re not behind. You’re on your own path.
  • Celebrate what you’ve built. Even if it’s not what you imagined, it’s yours.
  • Let go of the idea that you’re too late. You’re not. It’s always the right time to start dreaming again.

Turning the Page

If 18-year-old me could see me now, I think she’d be surprised. Maybe even a little disappointed. But I also think she’d be proud of the person I’ve become. Proud of the resilience, the growth, and the way I’ve learned to find joy in the unexpected.

Forty isn’t the end of the road. It’s just another chapter. And I’m excited to see what’s next.

If you’re standing at your own milestone, I hope you know this: you’re not alone. It’s okay to mourn the dreams that didn’t happen, but don’t forget to dream forward. There’s still time to bloom.

Here’s to turning the page.

xoxo
-S

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Letting Go

Goodbye to My Non-Farm Dreams

If someone had told me a few years ago that I’d be saying goodbye to my chickens, I probably would’ve laughed in their face. Those quirky, feathered little ladies brought so much joy into my life. They were part of my big homesteading dream, a dream I poured love, sweat, and way too much money into. If you’ve been around a while you are fully aware of all of the ups and downs I’ve faced with these cluckerellas. But here I am, writing this post with a bittersweet mix of emotions, knowing it’s time to let go.

Letting go of my non-farm dream wasn’t something I took lightly. It’s not easy to admit when a season of your life has run its course. But deep down, I knew it was time.

A Dream Hatched

When I first started raising chickens, it felt like a step toward a life I had always imagined. Fresh eggs, a little slice of self-sufficiency, and the simple pleasure of watching them scratch around in the yard. It was a dream that felt so right.

But life has a funny way of changing the script. As much as I adored those chickens, my circumstances shifted. The time, energy, and resources needed to care for them started to feel like too much. It became clear that the life I had envisioned was no longer aligning with the life I am building now.

The Goodbye

This week, I packed up my girls and drove them to their new home. A beautiful farm where they will have more space and freedom than I could ever provide. Watching them settle into their new coop was both heartwarming and gut-wrenching.

I cried. Of course I cried.

Saying goodbye is not just about the physical act of letting go. It is about mourning what could have been. But it is also about making peace with the fact that we cannot do everything, no matter how much we want to.

A New Chapter

Here is the silver lining. As one door closes, another opens. Letting go of my non-farm dream has freed up space physically and mentally to focus on other goals.

One of those goals is my health, and I am thrilled to share a milestone I have reached. I have lost 20 pounds at the time of filming. At the time of posting, it is over 30. I have lost 18.25 inches off my body. This progress has been months in the making, and honestly, it feels like a win I really needed right now.

I am learning that progress, whether in fitness, personal growth, or life in general, requires sacrifices. Letting go of my chickens is not just about saying goodbye to a dream. It is about embracing the bigger picture.

Lessons in Letting Go

If there is one thing I have learned through this process, it is this: letting go does not mean failure. It means making a conscious choice to prioritize what matters most in this season of life.

And that is okay.

It is okay to pivot. It is okay to put a dream on hold. It is okay to admit that something is not working anymore.

Because sometimes the hardest goodbyes are the ones that lead to the best beginnings.

Your Turn

Have you ever had to let go of something you loved to make room for something new? I would love to hear your story. Let’s talk about it in the comments below. 💬

And if you want the full behind-the-scenes scoop on this emotional goodbye, check out my latest video on YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FeYH_eiogvY

xoxo
-S