Tag: #AuthenticLiving

Posted on

The Turning of the Page

Life at 40

Today is my 40th birthday, and I’ve spent some time reflecting.

Birthdays have always felt like natural moments to pause, take stock, and think about where life has taken me. Turning 40 feels big, not because I’m scared of it, but because it’s an invitation to look back on everything that’s brought me here and dream about where I’m going next.

When I was 18, life felt wide open, like a blank notebook waiting to be filled. I thought I knew where I was headed: a career, a family, stability, and maybe even a little fame. I dreamed big. Becoming a rock star, crafting guitars, or exploring ancient Egypt as an archaeologist. I thought I’d have it all figured out by now.

Turns out life doesn’t follow a script.

Mourning the Dreams That Changed

It’s hard not to look back and think about the “what-ifs.” At 18, I had this vision of who I would be and what my life would look like. I thought I’d be financially stable, with a family and a career that made me proud. Instead, I moved 1,000 miles away from everything I knew to ultimately live with a man. That decision had a bigger impact on me and my approach to life than I ever could have imagined at the time. I left school and those passions behind.

I entered the workforce right away, and somewhere along the way, I stopped dreaming altogether. Survival replaced ambition. Work replaced wonder. It took years to move back home and even longer to rediscover myself as someone with passions and goals beyond just getting through the day.

Looking back, I’ve realized it’s okay to mourn those dreams that didn’t come to life. Mourning doesn’t mean regret. It just means acknowledging the path I thought I’d walk and honoring the person I thought I’d be.

Learning to Bloom in My Own Time

If there’s one thing I’ve learned about myself, it’s that I take my time. I’m not someone who rushes into anything, whether it’s finding my passion, reconnecting with old friends, or making big life changes.

For a long time, I thought that made me slow, maybe even lazy. Now I see it for what it is: my rhythm. It may take me longer to bloom, but the results are uniquely mine.

Over the years, I’ve built a life full of diversity and richness. From roller derby and blogging to baking cakes and starting my own ventures, I’ve created a life that’s vibrant and uniquely me. I’ve maintained a 35-year friendship with my best friend, who I’ve reconnected with more deeply in the past year.

No, it’s not the life I envisioned at 18. But it’s one I’ve worked hard for, and I’m proud of it.

Dreaming Ahead

Forty doesn’t feel like an ending. It feels like a new beginning. For the first time in years, I’m letting myself dream again. Not just about what could have been, but about what can still be.

Right now, I’m focused on my health. I’m working hard to lose weight, not just for how I look but for how I feel. I’m building my ventures into something I can be proud of, chasing financial stability, and carving out a future that feels more intentional.

There’s something freeing about letting go of the pressure to have it all figured out by a certain age. I’ve realized there’s no finish line for success. Just a series of chapters, each one building on the last.

A Message for You

If you’re reading this and feeling like life didn’t turn out the way you thought it would, I want to remind you: that’s okay. Plans change. People change. And it’s never too late to rewrite your story.

Here are a few things that have helped me make peace with where I am:

  • Stop comparing your timeline to others. There’s no “right” time to achieve your dreams. You’re not behind. You’re on your own path.
  • Celebrate what you’ve built. Even if it’s not what you imagined, it’s yours.
  • Let go of the idea that you’re too late. You’re not. It’s always the right time to start dreaming again.

Turning the Page

If 18-year-old me could see me now, I think she’d be surprised. Maybe even a little disappointed. But I also think she’d be proud of the person I’ve become. Proud of the resilience, the growth, and the way I’ve learned to find joy in the unexpected.

Forty isn’t the end of the road. It’s just another chapter. And I’m excited to see what’s next.

If you’re standing at your own milestone, I hope you know this: you’re not alone. It’s okay to mourn the dreams that didn’t happen, but don’t forget to dream forward. There’s still time to bloom.

Here’s to turning the page.

xoxo
-S

Posted on

Rediscovering Myself: A Journey Ahead

Life has a peculiar way of sweeping us along its currents, often pulling us away from the shores of our true selves. In the cacophony of daily obligations, expectations, and societal norms, we easily lose sight of who we truly are. I’ve come to a pivotal moment in my life where I realize I need to find myself again. This blog post is a heartfelt commitment to my future journey of self-rediscovery. Perhaps it might inspire you to embark on your own voyage of finding your true self.

The Gradual Erosion

Without noticing, we begin to drift away from our core. We become the roles we play—parent, partner, employee, business owner, friend—until those roles overshadow the essence of who we are. I’ve worn many of these identities like a second skin. Each layer adds a burden, each responsibility a distraction. Somewhere along the line, I stopped being ‘me’ and started being everything for everyone else. This realization did not come suddenly. It came slowly, over time, as I began to feel the weight of an inauthentic life pressing down on me.

The Wake-Up Call

My wake-up call came as a slow burn rather than a sudden jolt. It was the quiet realization on a Sunday morning, with a cup of coffee cooling in my hands, that I no longer recognized the person staring back at me in the mirror. My dreams, my passions, my unique quirks had buried under the weight of routine and the expectations of others. The familiarity of daily life had dulled my senses, numbing me to the loss of my true self. I need to reclaim my life, to strip away the layers that no longer serve me. It’s time to reawaken the dreams that once fueled my spirit and reconnect with the passions that once defined me.

Embracing Solitude

The first step in finding myself again involves embracing solitude. Not just physical solitude, but an emotional and spiritual one. I need to create a space where I can listen to the whispers of my soul, untainted by external noise. Long walks in nature, journaling, and quiet moments of reflection will become my sanctuary. In these moments, I hope to reconnect with the person I used to be. More importantly, the person I want to become. This solitude will not only serve as a retreat but as a workshop where I can rebuild and refine my sense of self.

Reigniting Passions

Rediscovery also means rekindling the flames of old passions and exploring new ones. I plan to dust off my paintbrushes, buy a new set of watercolors, and let my creativity flow. (Figuratively speaking. . . you don’t want anything to do with something I might be painting. . .) I will pick up books that have gathered dust on my shelf. Each page will take me back into the world of imagination and wonder. I want to start experimenting in the kitchen, turning cooking into a joyful, meditative practice rather than a chore. These activities, though small, will be profound in their ability to bring me back to life. Moreover, I intend to seek out new hobbies and interests, pushing the boundaries of my comfort zone to discover facets of myself that have yet to be revealed.

Setting Boundaries

An essential part of this journey involves learning to set boundaries. I have to learn to say ‘no’ without guilt and to prioritize my own well-being. It won’t be easy. People won’t always understand, but I know it’s necessary. I need to surround myself with people who uplift me. Those who understand my need for space and growth. Supportive friends who encourage my journey without judgment. I must communicate my needs clearly and assertively, making my personal growth a non-negotiable aspect of my life.

Fighting for Myself

A crucial element in this journey is learning to fight for myself so I don’t lose myself again. Life will always try to pull me in a million directions. I must stay grounded in my commitment to myself. I need to stand up for my own needs and desires, even when it’s uncomfortable. This fight means constantly reminding myself of my worth, advocating for my time, and resisting the pressures to conform to others’ expectations. It means being my own champion, my own best advocate, and fiercely protecting the boundaries I set.

Embracing Challenges

I also recognize that this journey will not be without its challenges. There will be moments when I doubt myself. Times when the path forward seems unclear. I need to embrace these challenges as opportunities for growth. Each obstacle will serve as a lesson. Each setback a stepping stone. By facing these difficulties head-on, I will become stronger and more resilient. I intend to approach these challenges with a mindset of curiosity and learning, viewing them as integral parts of my journey rather than impediments to my progress.

The Ongoing Journey

Finding oneself is not a destination but an ongoing journey. There will be moments of clarity and moments of doubt. Times when I feel in sync with my inner self and times when I feel lost again. But I’ve come to understand that this is part of the process. I will continually peel back the layers, question, explore, and evolve. I will celebrate the small victories and learn from the missteps, always keeping my eyes on the goal of living authentically and fully.

The Beauty of Rediscovery

In this journey of self-rediscovery, I aim to find beauty in vulnerability and strength in authenticity. I’ve learned that it’s okay to not have all the answers, that it’s okay to be a work in progress. Each day, I strive to be a little more me, to live a life that resonates with my true self. And in doing so, I hope to inspire others to embark on their own journeys of self-discovery. I envision a future where I am not only more attuned to my own needs and desires but also better equipped to support and inspire those around me.

Finding myself again will be a challenging but profoundly rewarding experience. I commit to this journey, with all its ups and downs. If you, too, feel disconnected, I encourage you to take that first step. Embrace the journey back to you. You are worth it.

This post serves not just as a reflection but a call to action. Let’s reclaim our identities, pursue our passions, and live authentically. Together, we can find our way back to ourselves and create lives that truly reflect who we are. The road ahead may be long, but it promises a return to the vibrant, true selves we were always meant to be.

xoxo
-S